Well friends, I've been promising you a big announcement is coming and I don't want to disappoint! We've been waiting for all the i's to be dotted and t's to be crossed before making this public announcement.
My husband and I are going to be foster parents!
This has been a long time coming. We started the approval process back in the spring. We had hoped to start fostering by the fall but life got in the way. My grandma passed away, we got a puppy (he's an adorable little devil), we added a bathroom to our house...
Anyway, that's the big news! How did we get here? Well, that's a long story. Had you asked me a year ago if I'd ever considered being a foster parent, I would've told you no way. I've taught in low-income schools, where I saw many foster children and how it affected them. My mom was a child psychiatric nurse for over 20 years and I have heard the stories. I was warned over and over that taking in troubled children would wreak havoc on my life, and I should leave that up to someone else.
Well, my husband and I are that someone else.
About two years ago, right around the time we were considering starting fertility treatments, my husband and I had a conversation about adoption. We did a lot of research, and even went so far as to meet with two agencies. However, as we were going through this process and saw the gigantic price tag for a private infant adoption, we decided to give fertility treatments a try. After several failed fertility treatments we again considered adoption...but again, the price tag was just too much for us to stomach (for those that don't know, we're talking on average $30,000-40,000 once all is said and done). Yes, funding is available and yes, you get a lot back with the adoption tax credit. But there is also a requirement for most adoption agencies that you stop trying for a biological child if your reason for adopting is infertility. And that was the nail in the coffin for us. We don't want to give up on that, not yet, not ever. Not until my body has had its final menstural cycle and there is absolutely no possible way I can conceive a biological child. And I still have more than a few years to go until we cross that bridge. ;-) We both know several people who have adopted through private agencies and we and are in full support of their decision! But for us, it just wasn't right. So instead, we bought a house. :-)
So let's fast forward to spring 2015. We originally had plans to go back to the fertility clinic at the end of the summer. But, something inside me just didn't feel that was the right thing to do. Not yet.
Then one Sunday morning there was an ad in our church bulletin for a local foster agency in need of foster families. A fleeting thought passed through my mind, "what if we did this?" The ad stayed in our church bulletin for several more weeks. Each week, I found myself thinking about it more and more. I got online and researched the agency, and several others (because, why not?). And then I finally brought it up to my husband - "what if?"
We talked about it. We Weighed all the pros and cons. We went to an information meeting, and next thing we knew we were in orientation. Our heads were swirling with information and we were learning about things we hardly knew existed. It was crazy! Through this process, I have learned so much. My perspective on foster parenting and the whole foster care system in general has changed. There are so many stigmas associated with it...but that's a whole other blog post!
The approval process was nerve-wracking. The agency dug deep into our personal lives and got to know who we really are. We had to get references and write things about ourselves and answer very personal questions. We had to prepare our home for inspection, and think about safety protocols that normal families don't necessarily think about.
On the day of our home study, I was more nervous than I had been on my wedding day! Here a social worker was coming into our home to inspect it, ask us lots of very personal questions, and decide whether or not we were fit to be parents. And since we were also seeking approval to potentially adopt, it was even more intense. Every aspect of our lives was analyzed. Old wounds were opened. All this to potentially provide a temporary home to a child in need who, if all goes well, we might even get to call our own someday.
So now, we wait. I've been getting pretty good at waiting over the years, but this time it's a little different. We don't know if we'll get a call today or tomorrow or next month. It all depends on what comes through the agency and if the powers that be think a particular child would be a good fit for our family. In other words, it is completely out of our hands.
Friends, could I ask you to pray for us during this time? God has put a calling on our hearts that is so great, yet so overwhelming. It is exciting and terrifying and wildly unpredictable. Our lives have already changed so much, and that is before we even have a child in our home! This is a difficult road that many people don't...can't travel. We were told several times in our trainings that if God has not clearly called you to be a foster parent, then don't do it. But we do believe He has called us to this and that He has equipped us. Because God does not call the equipped! He equips the called!
We have a lot of love to give, and our goal is to show at least one child that the world is not a horrible place. There is love, there is Christ, there is hope and redemption. Perhaps God has been preparing us for this all along. It is going to be an adventure like no other, but in the end I truly believe it will be the best thing we ever did.
I, of course, will be blogging about our foster parenting journey. I'll share as much as I am legally allowed to. :-) Maybe you have felt this calling on your heart, too. If you have, please listen to it. There are so many children who are in need of good homes. I am happy to talk to you about it and help navigate through the process.
"May He equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. All the glory to Him forever and ever! Amen." -Hebrews 13:21 (NLT)
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