So why the Facebook fast? Well, leading up to Lent this year I really prayed about what to give up for the 40 days of Lent. Most years I give something up, but it's trivial like chocolate or something. One year I gave up swearing (that one didn't last long! Haha!). But as my faith has grown this past year and my relationship with God continues to change, I really wanted to make this Lenten season sacrificial. I wanted to give up something I rely on, something that would truly be a struggle and would change how I live my every day life. It wasn't until a few days before Lent that the idea to give up Facebook came to me from someone else who attends our church. At first I thought it was impossible. How will I communicate with people that I only talk to through Facebook? What about my business? I do use Facebook quite extensively for business. I also admin a couple groups. What would happen to those? But God kept saying to me, "give it up." And so I obeyed. And I'm glad I did.
I wish I could tell you that during my Facebook-free time I became a completely different person who lost a ton of weight, invented a miracle cure, became a millionaire, found the solution to world peace and discovered the meaning of life...but a las life without Facebook did not solve any world problems. It didn't solve any problems really. But I did learn a few things I'd like to share:
1. I can find plenty of ways to waste time.
At first it was Pinterest. I think I pinned more things in the first week than I have the entire time I've been on Pinterest. Oh the things I was going to do! Yeah, none of those happened. Pinterest became my new newsfeed. I also crocheted a bunch of stuff and signed up for Etsy with the intention of selling crocheted baby hats (I still haven't opened the shop). I also did quite a number working through my Netflix queue. I spent a lot of time planning what I was going to do...but not a lot of time doing it. I don't really think I accomplished any more without Facebook than I did with it.
2. People will freak out that you're not on Facebook
Seriously. It was almost comical the way people reacted. I actually got phone calls and/or text messages from friends asking me why I de-friended and blocked them on Facebook. Really?!? First, I don't play the passive-aggressive game of de-friending and blocking. I talk to people directly if/when I have an issue with them. Second, I did post a status update saying I was deactivating my account until Easter and if you wanted to keep in touch with me, message me for my email/phone #. I got exactly ZERO responses from that post. You would think that if people really wanted to talk to me that don't already have my info, they would've responded. Perhaps people didn't see it, I don't know. But either way, it just goes to show you how differently we communicate these days. When I posted my first status on Easter Sunday, there was a plethora of "I missed you" type comments. I just shook my head. If you really missed me all that much, I have a phone and email. Use it. It all felt so superficial (minus a few folks who just missed my sarcastic updates and I actually talked to during Lent).
3. You will miss some stuff...but most of it is worth missing
Some of the stuff I missed was superficial, like the blue & black/gold & white dress (for the record, I saw blue & black). You won't get some of the jokes on TV because you haven't seen what's gone viral that week (or that day). Oh well. Tomorrow the social media world will be onto something else anyway. Some of it was more serious, like my cousin being in the hospital. Thankfully I have a great family who kept me informed and *gasp* I actually talked to my cousin directly to tell her I was praying for her. You know what I didn't miss? All the negativity. The rants. The hatred for people who don't have the same beliefs as you. The shaming and the defamation. The calling perfect strangers horrible names. And all the other trash that is out there in Facebook land. Nope, I didn't miss all that crap one bit!
4. Facebook is an invaluable business tool
When I decided to give up Facebook I considered just keeping my business maintained, but then decided this had to be an all or nothing thing. I have a business Facebook page and a private group for my preferred customers, and both went away during Lent. I wish now I would've kept them. Normally I would not admit this, but my business took a hit while I was away from Facebook. I never realized how much Facebook really has done for my business. Many of my customers communicate with me via Facebook, and I have obtained probably about a third of my regular customers through Facebook in some way. I did run a couple promotions through email with my customers during Lent, but did not get the response that I can get on Facebook. In business, you communicate with your customers in the way that they respond best. I've learned that my customers respond best through Facebook. Who would've thought? A valuable lesson learned that will help my business grow in the future.
5. Without an audience, my life is boring
No really, I am not an exciting person. At all. We all make our lives seem better than they really are with witty status updates and comments. But in reality, none of us have lives that are THAT cool. Most of us are just living our everyday lives and watching everyone's highlight reels unfold on social media. Don't compare yourself to others' Facebook highlight reels. You most likely don't know what is going on the rest of the time. That said...
6. Facebook can mask what is really going on in your life
What I wasn't prepared for during my Facebook fast was the onslaught of emotional turmoil that surfaced. I am (or was) admittedly a Facebook junkie. I spent a TON of time scrolling through newsfeed, Facebook stalking people, commenting on stuff, etc. I was spending so much time with my nose in other people's lives that I wasn't paying attention to my own needs. When the drug of Facebook was removed, my own life hit me. Hard. I realized that I have some things that I really need to work though...some of which will probably take professional help. It took me having the time to sit alone with myself in silence to realize that some of my issues are deep. And it's ok, I have no shame in admitting I need help to work through those issues. But I may not have realized I needed that help when I was paying more attention to others than I was to myself.
7. Facebook is a fantastic communication tool
Sometimes it's just easier to post something on Facebook when you have a question, or to send a group message to discuss something. And the Facebook event tool is awesome. Facebook has made it a lot easier to communicate with a lot of people in a short amount of time. I am glad for it. I've reconnected with people from my past on Facebook. Just last year I reconnected with my childhood best friend who I hadn't spoken to in over 20 years. If it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't have reconnected to the trumpet player/football stud/geek guy from high school and married him. :-) I think personal communication is and always will be important, but Facebook can be a vehicle for both personal and mass communication.
8. We talk a lot about what is posted on Facebook
I noticed so many of my conversations with people were centered around something that was posted on Facebook (and that I of course had no idea what they were talking about!). So many conversations started with "did you see that...on Facebook?" It has become a part of our every day conversation. I don't think that is necessarily bad, but it's annoying sometimes when people just automatically assume that you sit all day and scroll through your newsfeed for conversation starters.
9. You can find both great support and great criticism on Facebook
Our society today is very quick to judge others. Facebook just makes it easier because you can hide behind a screen and type words that you aren't actually speaking. It is unnerving to see how critical people are of others who have never walked in your shoes. I should know, I've experienced it first-hand. On the other hand though, you can also find people who will support you and walk with you. Through Facebook, I reconnected with an old friend a couple years ago who was also walking the infertility road. We've become close friends and still talk on a regular basis. I am in a couple infertility groups on Facebook where I can "talk" freely about my journey among people who truly understand and are walking similar roads. I would not have gotten through some of my struggles without these people, and I am forever grateful for them.
10. Like everything else in life, it's all about balance
Facebook, like most things, has its pros and cons. I think it can be a very addictive thing. I was addicted before I gave it up for Lent, and I think going without it for 40 days was a great way to break that addiction. I definitely plan to keep using Facebook regularly, but I no longer have no qualms about hiding posts and/or people that are offensive or hurtful to me (or honestly just plain annoying). I plan to be more intentional about what I post and more intentional about contacting the people I want to talk to directly. Facebook is great, but it's not the be all end all that some people make it out to be. Take a break from it. Go outside. Read a book. Call someone. Down time is important. Face to face time with people is important. Building relationships is important. The time you spend scrolling through your newsfeed is not time you're going to get back. If you have your eyes constantly on a screen you might miss what's going on around you. Life is better than that. You are worth more than that. So spend less time scrolling the screen and more time scrolling the life happening around you. :-)
