Thursday, May 28, 2015

New Level, New Devil

I've been feeling very spiritually attacked lately. Things have been happening...people have been saying things...that just makes me go what the?!? I've been feeling this overwhelming sense of divisiveness among people I know. An overwhelming sense of judgement and hypocrisy and hatred towards others. It saddens me. As I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed and read comments, my stomach turns. People argue with perfect strangers. Make assumptions about people they've never met based on one or two comments. What was once healthy debate has become a game of name-calling and refusal to accept that there may be more than one way to think about things. What has this world come to? The "unfollow" button has been getting many clicks...weeding out those who spew so much negativity I wonder if they ever have a positive thought. On one hand, it's so sad. On the other, I feel the need to guard my own fragile heart from the evils of social media.

In the "real world," outside of social media I feel the enemy trying to attack me more than ever. The enemy sneaks in like a thief in the night, telling us lie after lie over and over until we start to believe it. I've caught myself believing some of those lies lately...and then I say to myself, "what am I doing??" I KNOW that is not true! God himself has told me the truth! I started to believe that my husband and I would never be parents...but then I remembered that God made a promise to me years ago, and that God always keeps his promises. Just because it hasn't happened yet, and just because we are taking a break (again) from trying, doesn't mean that our promise won't be fulfilled. It will be. In God's time. He will bring a child (or children) to us and all this pain, all these excruciating years of waiting, they will all be worth it. I know this. God has promised this.

I have a friend who has a phrase she repeats over and over when she feels the enemy attacking her: "new level, new devil!" she says. She believes (as do I) that when God is about to make something big happen in your life, Satan tries to destroy it. He does everything he can to make sure you don't succeed, that you don't fulfill God's plan. Well there must be something HUGE coming my way, because Satan has been very prominent lately! So much so that I can literally feel evil all around me at times. It's scary and exhilarating at the same time! It means that there are big changes coming my way, that God has a new plan for me and I need to hold steadfast to Him.

I know changes are coming. I've been shown a new potential career opportunity that gets me incredibly excited. It's a process and it won't happen overnight, but it means I'll be making music with kids again...which I know is what I was made to do. My husband and I have also been given another opportunity that we've been praying over. We aren't yet ready to make the specifics public, but could you pray for us friends? Pray that we are able to discern God's plan and submit to his will for our lives and our marriage and family. Pray for the choices we are about to make and the directions we go. It's exciting and scary at the same time, but we feel God may be leading us to a new role in ministry

So yes, new level, new devil indeed! But you know what? God has you. He will take care of you, no matter what. Hold onto your loving God and His word. Pour yourself into Him and He will protect you.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." -Romans 12:2

The other day I was particularly upset over a stranger calling a relative of mine a "bigoted Christian freak" (or something like that). This is someone I've admired my whole life, and is one of the kindest, most generous people I know. How can someone be so hateful? I truly don't understand. And boy, did the devil enter in and take advantage of that moment! I started questioning everything...I was angry, and hurt, and having my own little temper tantrum/pity party/fight with God in my car. Then a song came on that reminded me that this world isn't what really matters. I am not a slave of this world - I am a servant of the living God. I turned up the volume as loud as I could and sang at the top of my lungs, raising my hand in the air and singing praises to the Almighty. (I probably looked like a total nut case to people driving by, but I didn't care). I felt on top of the world at that very moment! I may have played the song a few more times. Over and over I sang:

I hear a voice and he calls me redeemed
When others say I'll never be enough
And greater is the one living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world.*

Say that again. Out loud.

Greater is the one living inside of me, than he who is living in the world.

My spirit had been lifted, and I remembered that God is the one who matters! It doesn't matter what other people think or say about me! I may not be able to change them, but I can change how I react to them. I can be a person who responds in a loving manner. I can be a person who prays day in and day out. A person who yearns for and pursues a closer relationship with God and doesn't let this world define who she is. YESSSS!!!

God has already redeemed you! YOU. ARE. ENOUGH!!!

And then, my favorite part. The part that brings it all together and reminds me that nothing, no one, is perfect...and that is OK!

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
'Cause the cross already won the war*

Ahhhh! Doesn't that just sum it up perfectly?

'Cause the cross already won the war!

Christ has already won! And in turn, YOU have already won! Can you feel it?? Isn't it simply AMAZING???

GOD MATTERS. No one else. Not any person or thing. It's about your relationship with God, and pursuing God's will for your life. It's how you choose to interact with people and how you react to them. It's leaving your life and your sin at the cross, and running into God's arms when Satan tries to pursue you. It's not caring how crazy people think you are because you know what? God is crazy. He is crazy for you and he wants only the best for you. And if you mess up? Guess what? IT'S OK!! God is so gracious that he gave up His only son for you! You don't have to be perfect!


Turn up the volume. Sing your heart out. Raise your hands up in glory. Dance around your living room like a little kid. Relish in the moment and the knowledge that our God is greater...because He has already won.



*lyrics from the song "Greater" by Mercy Me

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