Jericho

When I was a little girl, my Dad would tell me Bible stories before bed time. The Battle of Jericho was always one of my favorites. I would ask him to tell me the story, and then we would dance around the room singing the song "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho" pretending to play the trumpet. (It's no wonder where I got my goofy side from.) ;-) My dad always talked about putting on the armor of God and fighting battles. Little did I know how true this story would ring for me one day.

You're probably familiar with the story. In the book of Joshua, God asks the Israelites to march around the city of Jericho once every day for 7 days. On the 7th day they sound the trumpets and the walls of Jericho fall down so the Israelites can enter the city. Crazy impossible story, right? I guess I love to believe in the impossible, because to this day it's still one of my favorite stories of the Bible.

My pastor spoke about the story of Jericho this past Sunday. He is doing a sermon series about God doing impossible things in our lives. Needless to say, I have been intently listening to this series as my husband and I are in the midst of an impossible situation, waiting for God to reveal the impossible things He is doing for us. Many of the points in our pastor's sermons have really hit home over the past couple weeks. As he was talking this past Sunday about how ridiculous it must have felt (and looked to those watching!) to keep circling a city in hopes that the walls would magically fall down at the sound of trumpets, I turned to my husband and said, "I feel like we've been walking around Jericho for two years."

God often asks us to do crazy things. My husband and I have been wandering around for the past two years, sometimes feeling like we're walking in circles trying to discern where to go next. But we keep waiting, we keep having to go back to square one. Every month is another lap around a city built with a fortress that we can't get into. Twice we have come close...so close...we've been standing at the door knocking, only to be thrown back out to continue circling. When will the walls fall? When do our trumpets sound? Will it be fertility drugs that knock the walls down? Will it be more intensive treatment such as artificial insemination or donor eggs or *gulp* adoption? When does this never-ending circle end?

It must look ridiculous to a fly on the wall to watch us do some of the things infertile couples do. Sex during fertile times is about the farthest thing from romantic a married couple can get. I take medications and take frequent trips to the fertility clinic where they analyze my blood and my ovaries and my uterus. I take my temperature every morning and pee on sticks to determine just when it's the right time. We discuss things like whether or not to go away for weekends because we might miss a window, or I might have to go to the fertility clinic for monitoring. Yes, we probably look like crazy people. But these are things that we believe God has asked us to do. He has asked us to put our trust in Him, and He has led us down this path. We haven't made any decisions about fertility treatments without first praying and asking God what He wanted us to do. Have we always made the right choice? I honestly have no idea. But somehow God continues to lead us through it.

Unlike the Israelites, who were told it would happen for them on the 7th time around, we don't know what time will be ours. But we keep walking. We keep moving on and having faith. I don't know why God has asked us to fight this battle...perhaps I'll never know. I don't know why we can't get through the fortress of fertility or how many times we will have to circle that fortress until we are finally allowed to enter. What I do know is God is always with us, and He will never abandon us. Sometimes God gives us solutions that make no sense, and that we never would have expected. I know He will work it out somehow. Maybe my idea of it working out and God's idea of working it out are different. Our pastor shared a wonderful quote on Sunday that helped to put things in perspective:

"Jesus will always give you what you would have prayed for if you knew everything He knows." -Timothy Keller

Obviously, I don't know what Jesus knows about my life or my situation. Nobody does. But I still believe that fortress will come down somehow. It has to. I can't live the rest of my life like this.

A dear friend gave me this scripture yesterday:

"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but NEVER ABANDONED by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed." - 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NLT)

GOD WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU. No matter what your struggle, how bad your pain is, or how tough your battle. He will NEVER LEAVE YOU. Sometimes, that is the only comfort I have to hold on to. As you circle your own Jericho, waiting for your own walls to fall down, God is walking with you. He knows your struggles, and He knows your heart. And the beautiful thing is, He already knows how and when it will work out. Just keep walking.

And of course, I simply cannot write a blog about the Battle of Jericho without including the song! My favorite arrangement from my elementary chorus director days. How appropriate that this video is of kids singing it when my Jericho is trying to have children! Enjoy! ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji-0CjCKHi8