My apologies (once again) for the lack of recent blog posts. Someday I'll learn to be more consistent (or not. It's me we're talking about here).
I've hopped on the blog today because I need to address something. Something I've lost sleep over. Something that turns my stomach to the point I can't stand it. Something that my brain just cannot understand.
Do you know why so many women stay silent about infertility? Aside from the shame of not being able to reproduce, and the stigma surrounding infertility and loss, it really boils down to this:
Because of what people say.
Because of the backlash of horrific comments people make.
Because for whatever reason, when someone is having trouble conceiving, people seem to think that our desire to have children is selfish and unwarranted.
Because people think we should just accept it and not seek help.
Because people are heartless, cruel, and lack compassion for those going through a horrific experience.
I read an excellent article yesterday about why fertility treatments should be covered by insurance (you can read it here). Some (not many) insurances will cover parts of treatment. A rare few will even fully cover them. Most though, will not cover anything. Instead couples are left to scrounge every penny, take out loans and credit cards, and rack up tremendous debt all in the hopes of having what everyone else got for free: a family. The average cost of one cycle of artificial insemination (IUI) is over $1,000. For ONE MONTH. We did two of those. The average cost of in-vitro fertilization (IVF) is over $10,000. EACH. And there are no guarantees. A couple can easily spend upwards of $50,000 and have nothing to show for it. But it is human nature to want to try. A couple who goes through fertility treatments has a very strong desire for children, and would do anything in their power to have a child.
I should really learn not to read comments on articles related to infertility, or any article for that matter. It's bad for my mental health. This society has become a bunch of anonymous jerks hiding behind a computer screen typing out insults to strangers. It's disgusting and it makes me fear for the future of our world. Here are some of the responses to that article that almost made me vomit:
The world is overpopulated and we shouldn't be helping people have kids and causing more population problems.
If you can't naturally conceive and don't want to adopt, you're not fit to be a parent.
Infertility is not a disease and has no effect on a person's health.
If you're infertile, you should just accept it and move on. Not everyone should be able to have kids.
Having insurance coverage for fertility treatments is comparable to covering plastic surgery. It's elective.
I don't want my money going toward people having more kids that are just gonna mess things up.
Infertility treatments cause babies to be born that shouldn't be born and they have multiple health issues because they were conceived through IVF.
And my favorite:
People who go through infertility treatments are mostly wealthy people who have the money anyway.
*sigh*
I am not making these up. I paraphrased, but you can read them for yourself below the article. Disgusting. Repulsive. Bordering on inhuman. None of these comments have any basis in fact either.
I couldn't sleep last night because I just couldn't get my brain to understand how horrible people can be. How cruel and unforgiving this world is. As I was thinking about it again this afternoon (because I haven't been able to let it go) I realized that part of the reason people are so heartless about infertility is because they are so uneducated about it. Most people have no idea how horrible it is to go through, what it all involves, the physical and emotional pain, the yearning for something that is so natural yet so difficult to attain. Perhaps if people were more educated about infertility they wouldn't be so quick to judge and would show more compassion. Perhaps this is why I am so open about it, because I hate seeing people be so cruel to those who are already in so much pain.
I also realized something else.
This world needs Jesus.
More than ever, more people than ever, need Jesus to enter their lives. More people need to know a loving, forgiving, gracious savior. More people need to pour over God's word and look to Him for guidance. More people need to strive to live a more Christ-like life, in a more loving, compassionate manner. Less judgement. Less criticism. More love.
I don't know when exactly we became this world with so much awfulness. There has always been evil in the world, and it will always be here until Jesus returns. But I feel like the way we interact with each other has changed dramatically over my 35 years here on Earth. People used to be more kind, more helpful, less concerned with their own selfishness and more concerned with others' well-being. When did we stop listening to one another? Why must we argue so much and judge people for their believes and decisions? It saddens me that respect no longer seems to be important.
I don't know how to change this...I don't know if it CAN be changed. But what I do know how to do is be as loving, compassionate, and respectful of a person as I can. I know how to model in my own actions how I would want to be treated by others. I know how to put others first, I know how to listen. And that, well, that's at least a start.
And I know how to pray, and to talk to Jesus about my problems and desires. I know how to pour over God's word and see the truth when the enemy tries to get me to believe lies. I know our God is a loving God and He will not fail me! I am not perfect by any means. Somedays I can be a horrible person too! But thank you Jesus that I don't have to be.
And thank you Jesus that, on those days when I am feeling attacked by horrible words said by people who clearly don't know You, that I can come to you. You will comfort me and hold me, and lay peace on my troubled heart. You will wash away the tears the enemy has brought on me, and remind me that You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Soak in His presence.
When the world troubles you, find peace in the One who made you.
And perhaps even pray for those that don't know Him. Because everyone needs more Jesus. Everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment